Pro Spam

My thanks to "Blaze", for spamming each and every post here with a 'comment'.
Nothing more than plugging this website...
http://www.addicted.com/

Could have just contacted me.
I love to trade links and banners.
Keep coming back, Blaze.

We're SO Small...

Once Upon A Time...

My name's XXXXXX. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do.
You cannot nor will not change my behavior.
You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect.
All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them.
You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth,
because love is impossible for someone in active addiction.
I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic.
I have no empathy for you or anyone else.
It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decison to stop using/drinking
and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.

__________

When I first read the above, which had been posted on a message board, I thought to myself: 'Boy, can I ever relate to that person...'. Over the years since, I've come to regard those words and sentences in different ways; a quick explanation of addiction behavior, a mea culpa, a back door exit...
I can't wait to read the conclusion.

Predatory Bleeding Deaconry

bleeding deacon: n. a person who believes himself indispensible to a group, esp. a person who becomes so over-involved in a group’s internal management, policies, or politics as to lose sight of its larger goals; (hence) a person with a negative, moralizing character, who acts like the sole source of wisdom.

Predatory (prěd'ə-tôr'ē, -tōr'ē)
adj.
1. Living by preying on other organisms: a predatory mammal; a predatory insect.
2. Of, relating to, or characterized by plundering, pillaging, or marauding.
3. Living by or given to exploiting or destroying others for one's own gain.

A Struggle Inside AA...

I suppose the various and sundry nefarious and unconscionable behaviors and events reported about The Midtown Alcoholics Anonymous group in Washington D.C must include, for now, the convenient and safe prefix alleged.

I'm reminded of one big book thumper I crossed paths with when I was still an active member of the online debating morons... He used to love calling A.A a "secret society". This man was also fond of sponsoring females, by his own admission. And as chance would have it, I also crossed paths with one of his, um, intended targets with whom he wished to spread the message...

So, yeah, cool and all that. The rule of law, etc...
Alleged.
But it wasn't a mind bending proposition for me, and for many others I'm sure, to feel the veracity of many of the elements in this sordid story from D.C.

They say that...

... life's a shit sandwich and every day is another bite.
Just for today, I'll side with the elusive and opaque 'they'.